In Flight Tears

**current mood: exhausted from the flight**

As I sat on the plane rocking side to side like a ship on a choppy sea, the thought crossed my mine about the plane crashing and all of us dying. My immediate second thought was, 'Man if I die, I'd be so happy to see my brother.' At that moment, I opened my eyes and the tears streamed down my face. I wasn't dreaming, heck, I wasn't even sleep. But for like 10 minutes (the amount of time it to us to get through the turbulence), I wished I was dead just so I could see him again. Who thinks about dying in a plane crash while flying? An incomplete soul, that's who.

4 years, and 2 days ago at 9am. St. Francis Hospital the 9th floor. That's where he took his last breath. He wasn't in pain (thank GOD) he was just tired. He had fought so long to get back to the man we all knew him as, but he gave up. He was the only boy my momma had, so of course I joke that he had to prove something to us by holding on as long as he did. My brother wasn't just my brother he was my FRIEND, my SHOULDER TO CRY ON, my PARTNER IN CRIME, my ENEMY, my FATHER, my COUNSELOR, my EVERYTHING!!!! I have a really great group of friends and family remaining, but for just one chance to even hold him and tell him how much I miss him and love him, I would give them all up. To say I miss him, wouldn't be the right words. To say I'm not the same since he's been gone is more accurate. I'm a totally different person without him.